Okay, I know there are tons of Twilight parodies already out, but mine is super different, I promise. But, my sister didn’t think it was any good, although that could be because she has no interest in the Twilight series whatsoever. Anyway, I’m going to give you the general description of it first, and then I’m going to spoil it for you and tell you (some of) what happens in the story.
Description:
Renesme’s story is a tale of epicness that fails, and of fails that are epic. Set in present day Washington, Renesme Jullen relays the events that lead up to her epic fail. Born half-vampire and half-human to a whole family of vampires, Renesme has never really felt like she truly belonged. Throw in an imprint with a werewolf who is more like a brother than anything else, and you’ve got yourself a very unhappy girl. At least, until shes meets Michael, the “neighborhood pest”. Its love at first sight for Renesme and Michael. He’s just so perfect! He’s cute, smart, funny, charming, and….a squirrel. But, to Renesme, he could very well be a lump of poo and she’d still love him. Unfortunately however, her father, Edward, is deathly afraid of squirrels, so he doesn’t exactly approve of one dating his daughter. And then there’s that imprint thing she has going on with Jacob Crack…What’s a girl to do in a situation like this?? Well, read on to find out which path Renesme takes, and how it will ultimately lead to her epic fail.
Spoiler:
Basically, the squirrel doesn’t love her back, it only loves the food she gives it. But once she runs out of food, it runs away. She tries to kill herself by downing a whole bottle of sleeping pills, but of course she can’t die like that because she’s half vampire. And so Jacob is like “Renesme, you’re such an idiot. You’re half VAMPIRE! Sleeping pills CANNOT kill you” And so she’s like “I know Jacob, I know. I’ve really been a mess these past few weeks. And throughout this whole ordeal, I realize that its YOU I love. Not Michael.” And so he’s like ” Well Renesme our time apart has given me time to really think about who I am. And, I’ve realized that I’m gay. But don’t feel bad. Even if I WEREN’T gay, I STILL wouldn’t take you back.” Thus earning the title Renesme’s epic fail, blah blah blah. Oh, and Bella is having an affair….with Carlisle…..and Emmett……and Jasper…..and just about every other member of the male species. haha
Okay, so tell me what you think and don’t hold back!
It’s called “Renesme’s Epic Fail”
Also, I’m thinking about adding in a surprise guest character from another well known book and maybe he could be Jacob’s boyfriend….hehe
