Okay, so please help me! I wrote this amazing story, but I need to know if it’s actually good. So please tell me! lol, here it is, BTW, its an Avatar fanfic! (not tat lame CG one, the awesome cartoon one!) Best answer goes to best review!!!!!11!
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Prologue: Time is an Illusion, as is Pants
The day slipped by into weeks. The anxious breathing turned more like a nervous cry everyday. The weeks turned into months. They needed to do something. No more waiting we must take action, Months turned into years. They fought, we fought back. But how long can we keep this going. Years turned into decades. Where are you? There winning and we need your help. The decades turned into a century. And still the Avatar was missing.
Chapter 1: The Eclipse
“Haruku…Haruku…HARUKU!”
“What?” Haruku was still tired. He had been training Ritchie for three hours last night.
“You gotta come. It’s soo cool!”
“Ritchie, you think everything’s cool.” Haruku muttered. It was true. Like last week Ritchie spend five hours looking at a bug. Or that one time he spent the whole day trying to copy Haruku’s waterbending. Or maybe that time he looked in the cave for a day and then got lost for two. Haruku was used to his “over curiosity” and made a special effort not to follow him or get tempted by whatever he said.
“But it really is cool! The moon is orange!”
“Fine, but this better be good!”
Ritchie lead Haruku out of his tent and into the night. He shivered and wished he had time to put on his shirt before Ritchie pushed him out.
“Look! See?! I told you!”
Haruku looked up and…was shocked! The moon was orange! The two boys looked at the moon in awe until it turned back into it’s normal white.
“Wow…” Haruku whispered still awestruck at what had happened.
“Well?” Was it cool enough for you?” Ritchie said, with pride in his voice.
“I…guess”
“Good. Now lets train!” Ritchie said eagerly.
“What?! But… we already trained last night!” protested Haruku.
“Aww come on! I really wanna try that Earth Armor move again. And you can try it too!”
“Ritchie, I’m a waterbender. As in can’t move earth! Ever heard of it?” Haruku asked more then slightly annoyed.
“I know. You can use your water to Ice-Armor! Now come on!” And before Haruku could protest again Ritchie was pulling him to the training area.
The ‘training area’ was nothing more then an abounded park that still hadn’t grown any weeds. Haruku and Ritchie would practice hear once a day, trying out new moves, mastering old ones or having a practice duel. Haruku usually liked to practice his waterbending, but he was tired, and when he was tired, he slept.
“Hey Haruku, how’s this?” Ritchie called and started to pull up the Earth from the ground and molded it to his skin. Everything was great; his body was covered in rocks. But then came the tricky part. Moving. Ritchie took one step forward, swayed and toppled over.
Ritchie burst out laughing. He couldn’t help himself. It was just so funny seeing his friend do the exact same mistake fro the twentieth time.
Hey, it’s not funny! Why don’t you try it?” Ritchie shouted as the rocked started to fall of his body.
Fine, I will.” Haruku breathed in then out. He usually did this before doing a difficult move, and this was no exception. He cleared his mind of the cold, the laughter, and the orange moon and started to think about the water. Water. The source of human life, of life everywhere. Water. The home to millions of creatures. Water. The extinguisher of fire. Water. And he controlled in all.
He lifted one finger and felt the connection instantly. He was the water, and the water was him. He lifted his hand. The water obeyed him like the most loyal Squirrel-Dog. He lifted both hands and guided the water towards him. He let it have freedom, but kept moving it towards him. The water started to wrap itself around his body like he raped himself around a blanket. He first made the water become a layer of him, like skin before turning it into ice.
He felt the water become cold, told the water to go into its solid state, commanded the water to freeze into ice. The water obeyed without question, because it knew that Haruku was worthy of controlling it. And all this happened in a second, like when you close your fist.
“Well” Haruku asked, ready to see his friends shock.
“So?’ answered Ritchie with a shrug. “Move.”
Haruku though for a second, stared blankly at Ritchie and then said “OK.”
He started out slowly, but gained speed. He told the ice to bend at his knees, become more flexible around his feet, and the rest came naturally He ran toward Ritchie until he was feet away from him. Then he let the ice fall, let it go free before smirking. “How was that?”
The rest of the day Ritchie and Haruku trained, ate, trained, ate, and then trained. Only when the sunset did Ritchie say, “ Ok, lets go to sleep”. Haruku smiled. He felt good that he finally could do the water whip
….the water whip better, but he was also exhausted. He spent the entire day in his ‘pajamas’ (yesterdays pants) and never even had time to put on a shirt. “Tomorrow I’ll sleep in” he though as he lay down in the tent.
Chapter 2: The Monk
“WAKE UP HARUKU! FOR GODS SAKE
MOVE YOUR SORRY BUTT!” Haruku bolted upright staring at Ritchie’s scared face.
“What is it?” Haruku said without a trace of tiredness in his voice. He was fully awake.
“The fire…. Nation… IS INVADING!” Ritchie screamed while pulling Haruku with such force it felt like ten Rhino Horses were pulling him.
On the way out Haruku reached for his shirt and grabbed it just in time.
As he stepped outside Haruku’s moth dropped. It was true. He saw fire nation soldiers in the distance and following them were about ten tanks. AS he looked around he saw all the villagers staring at the coming attack, some still in there pajamas. Other were in there armor, getting ready to fight.
“How? Why? WHY!?” Haruku yelled. He remembered his last home, the Southern Water Tribe. He thought about how the village leader told him his mother gave him to the Water Tribe Warriors, how his mother gave him to them so he’d be safer.
But now the fire nation was invading his second home. He wouldn’t let them take over this home though. He slipped his shirt on and ran back to his room. The waterbender choose the two largest sacks he could find, and filed them with his drinking water. After he put those on his belt Haruku ran back and looked at how much time he had. About three minutes until the soldiers would arrive. That was enough time. He ran through the people looking for Ritchie. He finally found him in full armor gear.
“Where’d you get that?” Haruku asked. Ritchie pointed to a station were a small crowd was.
Thanks” was all he said before the waterbender ran towards the station. Once he got there Haruku frantically looked for everything he’d need. Armor, water and courage. Even though he knew he wouldn’t find a bottle of courage, it would have been mice, since he was really nervous. He found a lightweight, leather vest, a waterproof backpack and after filling it up ran back to the fire nation army.
He saw a blast of fire a little ways ahead and ran towards it. Haruku was face to face with a fire nation solider. He immediately began assaulting the solider. First, he threw a wave at the enemy, then turned that a wave into a spiky shower of ice. The fire solider collapsed, and Haruku was on the next one.
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After only ten minutes of fighting Haruku was starting to grow weak. He had burn marks and cuts all over his body, and only half his water remained. As he ran through the village putting out fire before they spread too far his head started to hurt. Haruku tried to ignore it, but it kept on getting worse and worse. Finally, he fell down and felt like he was about to lose consciousness. To make sure he’d be safe Haruku put an ice shield all around him, and collapsed.
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Okay, that’s it. Really good right? I hope Nick uses my plot for the next series, I emaild them!!! Be honest tho!!
OMG, thank you! Plz star this if its good! I want lyk, 50 stars from this!
